Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 Bloopers
by fireawayfireaway
Summary: Another update. I am uber sorry for keeping you guys waiting. So yeah, Ch. 5 up!
1. Chapter 1

Kingdom Hearts Bloopers

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.. if I did, KH2 would be out already!... Grrr

Ok, story time!

* * *

Sora, Riku, and Kairi were all sitting in a room looking really bored. Then Sora got up and looked for something inside a box of DVD's. 

"Sora... What are you doing?" Riku asked as he was lying down on a couch.

"Looking for something to watch..." Sora then saw a DVD that he never knew he had, and he held it up for a moment.

"What's that, Sora?" Kairi asked as she walked up and sat next to him. "Kingdom Hearts... Bloopers?"

Riku raised an eyebrow and walked up to them and said, "Well, there's nothing else we can do... Wanna watch it?"

"Sure!" They both said.

Riku took out the disc and put it inside the DVD player. They all sat back down on the couch as it began.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene of Riku standing in the water

Director: And... Action!

Riku turned around and stuck his hand out to Sora.

"Uh, are you sure we don't need a green screen for this part?" Sora asked.

Director: Yes, now go to Riku!

Sora started running into the water but then a wave came behind Riku. "Crap... I knew we needed a green screen for this..." he said as he started running back toward the shore.

Riku then put his hand down. "Sora? Where the heck are you going?" he turned around and saw the wave one foot away from his face. "Shi-"

The wave crashed onto Riku as he started rolling backwards in the water, and landing on his face on the shore.

"Aha!" Sora said. "I told you so told you so told you so told you so!"

Director: (buries his face) ...cut...

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Sora was rolling on the floor laughing, and Kairi was giggling a little.

"I don't find this amusing, Sora..." Riku said angrily.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene of Riku throwing the paopu fruit to Sora

Director: Action!

"Sora!" Riku said as he threw the paopu fruit hard on purpose.

Sora turned around and was hit on the head with the paopu fruit.

"AHAHAHA!" Riku burst out laughing.

Director: Riku...!

"Sorry... I couldn't help it..." Riku smiled.

Take 2

Director: Let's try this again... Action!

"Sora! (throws paopu fruit... a little too low)"

Sora turns and the fruit hits his balls. "O.O C- Could you give me a minute...?"

Director: (sighs) Yeah sure...

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

This time, Riku was rolling on the floor laughing, and so was Kairi.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU!" Sora yelled.

"Ok...(laughs) ok... I did do that on purpose..."

"Why you... (lunges at Riku)"

"Guys, guys! The next blooper is on!" Kairi said as she tryed to break up the boys.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene with Leon and Yuffie

"I think you might've over done it... (smiles)... Leon." Yuffie said smartly.

"That's Squall... Wait..." Leon/Squall said.

Director: Yuffie!

-NEXT BLOOPER-

Scene of Sora and Kairi in the Secret Place

"Sora..." Kairi said as the door opened and darkness came out.

Kairi was going toward Sora, but then Sora stepped to the side and Kairi smashed into the wall.

"Ow! Soraaa!" Kairi said angrily.

Director: Ugh, cut...

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Kairi looked at Sora angrily as he made and innocent smile.

"Um, it was an accident?"

Kairi raised a hand and...

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Other scene with Leon and Yuffie

Yuffie yelled to Leon, "Heartless!"

"Sora, let's go!" he said.

Sora was lying on the bed and said, "Ah, don't worry it's just some midgets in tights."

They hear a small "Hey!" in the background.

Director: Cut. Sora, don't insult the actors...

-NEXT BLOOPER-

Scene with Keyblade

Sora was holding the Kingdom Key as he heard a voice.

Voice: Know your stars... Know your stars-- I mean, Keyblade... keyblade...

Director: AHHH! Cut!

-SPECIAL ENDING BLOOPERS-

"Where's Sora?" the unknown (who I think is Roxas) said.

Sora popped up next to him."Uh... right here..."

Director: Cut! Sora, you're not in this scene!

Take 2

The unknown walked and then stopped. "I can't see..."

Director: Dangit cut!

Scene with Riku on roof

Riku has a blindfold on and doesn't realize he's about to fall.

Director: Uh, Riku... You might wanna-

Riku steps forward and starts falling. "AHHHHHH-"

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

"Why did you skip it Riku?" Kairi asked.

"Gee, I wonder why?" Riku said as he glared at Kairi.

Sora sighed. "Ah, it's already 11:00 anyway... You guys gotta go. See ya later."

Kairi and Riku both said bye as they left.

A few seconds later, Sora looked to see if anyone was around and skipped back to Riku's falling part.

(camera shows front of house)

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Thas it... dun worry there's more chaps...yesh I know it sucked and wasn't funny enough... 


	2. Chapter 2

Kingdom Hearts Bloopers

Disclaimer: Psh, I-I don't own K-Kingdom Hearts... Argh, ok we've been ratted out boys just smile and wave... Jk

Ok, here's chappy 2... gosh that sounded gay...

* * *

Riku and Kairi came inside Sora's house and went inside the living room, where Sora was sitting on the couch looking at the paused TV. "You guys ready for the bloopers?" 

Riku and Kairi nodded and jumped on the couch next to Sora. "Are you ready to get humiliated, Sora?" Riku smiled.

"You wish." Sora responed arrogantly. He unpaused the DVD as it began.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Riku has a blindfold on and doesn't realize he's about to fall.

Director: Uh, Riku... You might wanna-

Riku steps forward and starts falling. "AHHHHHH-"

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

"Dangit..." Sora said.

Riku snarled at him as the next blooper came on.

* * *

Scene against the Shark in Atlantica

Sora starts swimming around until a giant shark came crashing through the boat. "OMFG! WAT THE (beep)! THAT (beep) IS (beep)ING HUGE! GET ME THE (beep) OUT OF HERE!"

Director: Calm down Sora it's fake...

"... Fake? Oh, psh I knew that... Yeah... Haha, it's fake... yeah... (faints)"

Director: ... cut.

Take 2

Director: Action.

Sora stays in place this time as the shark came crashing through. "YOU'RE MINE (beep)!" He jumps onto the shark and starts smashing it with his Keyblade very hard, as the metal jaw falls apart, the fin, the head... and then the whole shark machine fell, and blew up in front of Sora, causing everything in the studio to burn.

"E- (cough) EVACUATE!" Sora manages to say and starts running.

Everybody in the studio runs to the outside and watches the whole building fall apart.

Director: ... We need a new Sora.

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Riku and Kairi look at Sora with disappointed looks.

"You're lucky he gave you a second chance..." Kairi said.

"Now I remember what happened to my teddy bear..." Riku said in a low and sad voice.

"What was that?"

"Uh, er-... Th- The next blooper is on!" Riku said with a fake smile.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene with Giant Ursula

Director: ... Action!

Sora swam all the way up to Ursula. "Dang, you are UGLY!"

Ursula angrily swallowed Sora.

"It's dark in here..." Sora said inside Ursula.

Director: SORA!...

Take 2

Sora swam up to Ursula again and looked her up and down.

"Man, ever heard of Jenny Craig?" Sora said as he got swallowed again.

"OMG! I THINK I JUST STEPPED ON SOME-"

Director: Cut.

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Sora ran into the bathroom, and then you hear him puking.

"Poor Sora..." Kairi said.

"Well... Ursula _was_ ugly..." Riku said as he got a pillow smacked into his face. "Ow! -.- The truth hurts..."

Sora came back. "Look, the next one's on!"

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene of Selphie's Question

"What's more important to you, Being number one, friendship, or prize possessions?" Selphie asks.

"I can't answer because Kairi's not one of the choices..." Sora says.

Director: (sniff sniff) Cut...

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Kairi and Sora smile at each other as Riku asks Sora a question.

"Hey Sora, Kairi or Namine?"

"o.o... Oh, would you look at that the next blooper is on!" Riku just laughed as Kairi felt a little hurt.

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene of Riku with Darkness in Destiny Islands

"I'm not afraid of the darkness!" Riku said.

(lights turn off)

"AHHHHHH!" Riku yells.

Kairi turns the light back on. "I knew it..."

Director: Man I hate this job...

* * *

-IN HOUSE- 

Sora looks at Riku with a confused face. "What the?"

Riku hides his face. "Don't ask..."

* * *

-BLOOPERS- 

Scene with Tarzan

"I, Tarzan." Tarzan said.

"Okay... um... I, Sora." Sora replied.

"... Banana?" Tarzan held out a banana.

" :) SURE!"

Director: Cut...

-NEXT BLOOPER-

Scene of Sora flying in Neverland

"Sora, just believe. You can do it!" Peter Pan said.

Sora jumped and fell into the water. "Sigh, he didn't believe..." Peter said.

Take 2

"Sora, just believe. You can do it!" Peter Pan said.

Sora jumped and started flying alllllll the way up into the air. "AHHH! TOO MUCH BELIEVING! TOO MUCH BELIEVING!"

Director: (looking up) Cut...

-SPECIAL BLOOPER-

Riku and Pooh

"It's okay Riku, just push!" Pooh happily said.

Riku asked, "Are you sure? I have a lot of muscles..."

Random Fangirl: W00T! SEXY!

Pooh ignored her and said, "Go ahead and push Riku, I'll be okay."

Riku reluctantly stepped back, and then he ran forward and pushed Pooh... really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaalllllly high.

"DANGIT! POOH! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Riku said as he started to run after Pooh, the fangirl following him.

-IN HOUSE-

Riku looked at the screen with big eyes. "It wasn't my fault..."

"Yes it was! Poor Pooh..." Kairi said.

"Tsk tsk tsk, Riku hurt an innocent little bear."

"MY MUSCLES MADE ME DO IT!" Riku yelled.

* * *

So that's it for chapter 2... Sorry all you Kairi fans that Kairi wasn't in a blooper... Oh, and no, this isn't a Riku bashing fic! He's actually one of my favs... 


	3. Chapter 3

Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 Bloopers

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story and all the stuff...

Before I start, I want to thank all those people out there who read my story and kept bugging me to update... Oh, and another thing--

MAJOR SPOILERS ALERT!

Ok, now that you've been warned, here we go!

* * *

INTRO

* * *

Sora, Riku, Roxas, Kairi, and Namine were all sitting in Sora's living room doing nothing at all. 

"I'm bored."

"Me two."

"Me three."

"Me three. Four-- whatever."

"Hi bored people! My name's Namine!"

"Shut up blondie..."

"Hey, you're blonde too!"

Roxas sighed and looked at Namine. "Really? Oh my goodness I never knew that..."

"Really?" Namine said shocked.

"It was sarcasm, Namine..." Sora said as he tried to balance a water bottle on his forehead.

Namine shrugged and started drinking her soda again. Riku got up and went to the kitchen for no particular reason. Roxas knocked over the water bottle on Sora's forehead out of extreme boredom. Sora didn't care and pretended he was still balancing the bottle. Kairi was reading a book called "How To End Extreme Boredom."

"This book sucks. All it says is to do something. What a piece of shi-"

"We can't _do_ anything since there's nothing we _can_ do!" Riku said as he came back and sat on the sofa next to Roxas.

DING-DONG

"Saved by the bell!" Namine said as she ran to the door to answer it.

"I'll get it!" Sora said as he harshly pushed Namine to the side. "(opens door) Oh, it's just the mailman... Wait a minute-- AXEL? YOU'RE A ... A MAILMAN?"

That caused everyone in the living room to laugh.

"That's right, I'm Axel-- the Flurry of Dancing Mail-- got it memorized?" Axel said as he lowered his head to meet Sora at the sameheight.

"How much stuff do you want him to memorize dude?" Roxas said as he unsuccessfully caught a popcorn in his mouth from the air.

"Hey, shut u-- ROXAS!" Axel yelled and ran toward his best friend (they really are, says so in the game).

Riku sighed. "Just give us the mail..."

"Yeah, I'll read anything but this book..." Kairi said.

Axel shrugged and pulled out a letter and handed it to Kairi.

"Hey, it's from Nomura!" Kairi smiled as everyone, including Axel and the injured Namine, looked at the letter.

"I hope this CD will bring you guys many laughs and many smiles. We had an excellent time together so I hope this CD will help keep those memories in your heart.

-Love, Tetsuya Nomura." Kairi read.

"When did _he_ get so soft?" Axel said as Roxas, Riku, and Sora shrugged.

"What does the CD's labelsay?" Namine asked.

Kairi took out the covered CD and everyone looked at the label.

"Kingdom-" Sora said.

"Hearts-" Riku said.

"Two-" Roxas said.

Namine, Kairi, and Axel together read the last part.

The forbidden word...

The eight letters that will bring chaos...

"Bloopers." Axel and Kairi correctly said, whereas Namine pronounced it "Blopers".

Everyone looked at each other and said,

"Oh hell no. (even Namine!)"

* * *

Well, that's the intro! Pretty stupid, eh? Only one spoiler in this whole intro, but there will be many more (especially under this paragraph)! Sorry to all the Namine fans out there-- I just love making fun of her... Okay, I'm going to explain why Roxas and Namine are in this story so-- 

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!

Anyway, I know Roxas and Namine reunited with Sora and Kairi at the end of the game, but Roxas is too cool to be left out, and Namine... well, it's just fun to make fun of her... So that's why they are seperated from Sora and Kairi in this story. Ok? Ok. Good.

Also, I know Axel died in the game (WAHH sob sob) but he is like Roxas, way too cool to leave out. Ok? Ok. Done.

END OF SPOILERS

Sooo... thanks for reading and plz review! puppy pout


	4. Chapter 4

Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 Bloopers

Disclaimer: As said before, I own nuttin.

Ok people since you wanted me to update soon... Well I am here to grant your wish!

Oh, and Kagari-Caga-wtfever thank you for your awesome review! I can tell you like my story! Hehehe... Seriously. Read the other chaps... I was totally picking on Riku, but he's still one of my favs. Just cuz I pick on Namine doesn't mean I hate her!

QUOTE: Sorry to all the Namine fans out there-- I just love making fun of her.

Read it. Twice. Three times. As much as you want-- you will never see "I HATE NAMINE" in those sentences. I even said "Sorry"... yeesh! Besides, ever seen how blondes act in real life?

Okay, here's an example...

Boy 1: (says a joke about Sora)

Boy 2: Lol that was funny!

Boy 1: I know but Sora's still my fav character... I just like making jokes about him.

So, this whole Namine "hating" you think I'm doing are just JOKES! Lighten up...

QUOTE: ... don't even dare trying to piss me off cause flames will be worse!

That was already a flame... Oh and-

STOP! GRAMMAR TIME!

Okay- on to the bloopers!

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Everyone in the living room froze, and Kairi dropped the CD to the floor.

Roxas shrugged. "Let's watch it!"

Everyone shot a glare at him, but then he said,

"Got anything else better to do?" he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer.

Riku sighed. "He's got a point. Unfortunately..."

Namine then said, "Let's watch it! Nomura never said we'll get mad."

Kairi sighed. "Yet, another point--"

"Too late! It's starting." Sora said as he high-fived Axel.

"NOOOOOOO!" the other said.

* * *

INTRO SCENES

* * *

Scene with Namine and Sora

* * *

Director: And... Action!

Sora opens the door to the White Room and sees Namine drawing. She looks up from her drawing book and suddenly Sora is surrounded by a bubble thingy.

"(inside bubble) Namine.. Why... (farts and sniffs)... OH CRAP! NAMINE LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!" Sora pounded on the bubble from the inside.

... But all Namine could here was $#!$#.

Sora fainted as the director said, "Cut."

* * *

IN HOUSE

* * *

Everyone near Sora backed away in fear.

"Oh, c'mon! Oh- oh crap.. I'm feelin' it... Oh man--" Sora closed his eyes as he...

* * *

Scene with Riku and Sora

* * *

Sora ran toward Dark Riku and clashed Keyblades with him. They both grred at each other, but then Riku backflipped into that gay rainbow... But instead of transforming into Ansem- something worst happened.

Sora dropped his Keyblade and ran...

From Michael Jackson.

Director: Um... C-cut... (backs away slowly)

Take 2

Again, Sora ran toward Dark Riku and they clashed blades. Out of nowhere, Riku backflips, dodging Sora's slash, and landing in the gay rainbow we all know and love.

Sora was wide-eyed and fainted.

"What happened to my clothes?" a naked Riku asked.

Director: O.O... CUT...

IN HOUSE

Everyone stared at Riku disgusted.

"That was a pretty big--"

"Okay, Axel!" Roxas said covering his ears.

Riku slowly pulled out his Way to Dawn, but luckily Sora saw it.

"HOLD HIM BACK HOLD HIM BACK!" Sora screamed.

Everyone was holding Riku back from destroying the video.

"I'LL KILL IT! I'LL KILL IT!" he yelled.

* * *

Scene in Atlantica

* * *

Donald swims to the front and begins to sing.

"Swimming swimming we'll dance and we'll play now--"

Glass started breaking and everyone started shielding their eyes.

"Make it stop!" Sora yelled.

A cameraman walked up to the director. "Uh, sir? You should probably say "Cut"..."

Director: Why?

"All our cameras are broken."

* * *

Scene with Kairi and the bottle

* * *

Kairi and Selphie sat on the sand of the beach. Kairi then gently placed a bottle with a letter in it on the water. She got up and smiled as it started to make its journey... Until-

WHAM! A shark rose up and ate the bottle.

Kairi and Selphie: O.O

Director: ...I'm scared... I mean (ahem) cut.

* * *

Scene with Ansem (Riku), Kairi, and Sora

* * *

Kairi brought Sora over to Ansem/Riku and told Sora to close his eyes. Sora did so and placed his hand over Riku and Kairi's...

It was dark... Then there was a figure... A very... ugly figure.

Sora quickly opened his eyes. "Who are you and what did you do to my friend!"

Director: (sigh) Cut

* * *

ENDING BLOOPERS

* * *

Riku looked down at the water and saw a bottle, and inside was a letter. He opened the bottle and read the letter. "Sora?"

Sora looked at him. "Yeah?"

"It's for you."

Sora took the letter and read it.

"Thinking of you wherever you are...

We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend...

Now I step forward to realize-

This letter is a bunch of crap."

Director: Cut! (glares at Sora)

Take 2

Riku took out the letter from the bottle and read it. "Sora?"

"What now?" he said.

"It's for you."

Sora took the letter and ripped it in half without reading it.

Director: Come ON Sora!

Take 3

Riku took out the letter from the bottle and read it. "Sora?"

"WHAT NOW RIKU!"

"O.O It's... for you..."

Sora read the letter out loud.

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

So marry me Sora.

-Signed, Your #1 fan"

Sora angrily crumpled it up and threw it at the camera.

* * *

CSHHHHHHHH...

* * *

To be continued...

Honestly, this chapter is the worst one I wrote IMO, and probably most of you will agree. THIS CHAPPY SUCKED.


	5. Chapter 5

Mehh.. I suck at updating. Well anyway, this chapter will be continuing the last chapter so... Yeah. Ok... Yeah.

Disclaimer: Must I say this?I ama kid with no life expressing his feelings of KH2 through the internet. Ok? I don't own KH.

So blah blah blah on to the story...

* * *

CHAPTER 5

* * *

Opening Scenes

* * *

"A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory..."

"A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream..."

"I want to line the pieces up... Yours, and mine..."

"My God this is so cheesy!" Sora exclaims.

Director: (grunts) Cut..

Take 2

"A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory..."

"A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream..."

"Woah, my voice sounds like, uber-dramatic... Cool."

Director: Sora... you are REALLY close to being fired. (sighs as Sora just smiles at him)

Take 3

"A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory a far-off memory that's like a scattered dream I want to line the pieces up yours and mine!" Sora says in one breath.

Director: (immediately gets up and says,) Okay, who gave the kid sugar?

Axel fake-coughs and hides the sugar cubes in his coat. "Er-- I didn't do it. Why are you looking at me like that? I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!"

Director: Um, I never said anything to you...

"THEY GAVE ME A QUARTER!" the red-head yells.

* * *

IN HOUSE

* * *

Axel buries his face as Kairi tries to soothe him. Some scene, eh? "And... and the worst part is-- THEY NEVER GAVE ME THE

QUARTER!"

Riku and Roxas smile sheepishly as Kairi glares at them.

"I couldn't give it to him," Roxas said. "It was just so... so shiny."

* * *

Second fight with Axel

* * *

"You really do remember me this time?" Axel says to Roxas. "I'm SO FLATTERED!"

Roxas was a little taken back when suddenly the whole room erupted in flames. "OH MY GOD!" he yells, trying to avoid the flames. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"Roxas! ROXAS!" Axel yells, trying to reason with the freaked-out blonde. "ROXAS! Calm down! It's fake!"

The Keyblade-weilder stopped in place and said, "Psh, I knew that! I mean, who can't know it's fake!" he immediately runs to the cameraman says, "Edit out the 'Screaming for my life' part, okay?"

Director: Meh, cut... Boy if I had a dollar everytime I said cut, I'd be rich!

Take 2

"You really do remember me this time? I'm SO FLATTERED!" out of no where, he throws his chakram at Roxas, immediately knocking him down.

"Ow, JEEZ! What was that for?" Roxas said rubbing his head, somewhere hidden in his forest of hair.

Axel shrugged, then said, "It's in my script."

The blonde was confused, then turned to Sora with an angry look. "You are dead."

Sora smiled and said, "Oh c'mon, even you have to agree it was funny."

Director: (angrily shakes his fist) Cut... (he takes out his uber-duper sharp pen and points the metal part to his throat) Gah... No. It's not worth it..

* * *

IN HOUSE

* * *

"Wow, I can't believe he thought of doing that," Namine said with a shocked look on her face.

Riku nodded. "I know!... I would've gone for my eye." Everyone looked at the teen. "What? No one would notice! My eyes are way to hidden in my beautiful hair."

Sora choked on the last sentence. "Beautiful hair?"

Roxas ignored them and yelled to Axel, "You know? That really hurt!"

"That's what you get you no-quarter-giver!" he said as he got in the boy's face.

"Dummy!"

"Loser!"

"Idiot!"

"Stupid!"

"RED!"

"BLONDE!"

"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!" Kairi screams loudly. Sora turns to his right and notices his lamp exploded. "You guys are best friends! NOW FORGIVE EACH OTHER!" she continued.

Axel sighed. "Fine."

"Whatever," Roxas added.

The two walked toward each other and embraced (not in the gay way).

"Dork," Axel whispered in the boy's ear.

"Retard," he whispered back.

* * *

Feh, that's it. I ran out of ideas so sorry for the uber-shortness. So yeah... Sorry. 


End file.
